Sad Day

This week has been really crazy week for me. I got sick, lots of test and misssing her very much with only manage to contact her few times. She was busy, i understand. But i dont know why i was worried so much since we havent chat much. I really do miss her that time.

As for today, the night before, i couldnt get a good sleep. I was worrying too much, i dont know what happen to me. Time by time i got worried. Chat with her sis and she told not to worry her much, as i should focus on my 2 tests today. She was right, i should focus with my tests. Her sis ask me to meet them at the bus station after my test. Told her i wont mind if she wanted to meet me too. I asked her, she said no need for me to come. Ask her, she told me she doesnt want to make me in trouble. Somehow, at that point i snap. I told her what i planned. Probably she was shock and told me she didnt want to get into a relationship right now, dont want to get committed. By then, i felt relieved that i told her that although it hurts me.

To me, i can easily fall in love with anyone but at the same time hard for me to really like someone, it takes time. I always tell myself, if you really like someone, should tell them. And I did. Either she likes me or not, it wont be that important. If she likes me too i would be happy but if not..........

Maybe the timing wasnt right. We're still studying and she's just in her first year. And if we were in a relationship, distance is quiet a problem as i can easily get jealous and mad. Perhaps the timing wasnt right. Its better to be like this. Its better for me to still live like this.

Till now i still care bout her, but even if i told her this it wont change the situation.
For now, maybe its better becoming friends. Be like we used to be before and i would like that.
She manage to open my heart to love again. But for now, my heart is close from loving again.